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gearcommercialSamsung’s Galaxy Gear smartwatch hasn’t exactly been a hit. So now, the company wants to make guys believe that the device can help you pick up girls while skiing.

It sounds ridiculous, but that’s what Samsung’s newest Gear advertisement is all about — and it might just be the worst tech-related commercial of 2013.

Here’s the quick summary: A really creepy Gear owner named “Jack” sets his eyes on “Aimee” while on a chairlift. He shows her some of the basic Gear functionality, then calls her “pretty girl.”

Meanwhile, another man (who apparently is also attracted Aimee) fumbles with his smartphone — c’mon, man, where’s your smartwatch?! — and ends up dropping his device and skis from the chairlift (why he doesn’t have the skis attached to his feet makes zero sense).

For the next two minutes, Jack follows the woman down the mountain, films her from behind, ends up running into Aimee at the dance club later that evening and eventually convinces her to sleep with him — all because of the Gear.

Nearly every scene in the two-minute, 30-second spot will make you cringe. It’s just bad.

Jack’s creepy smile.

Furthermore, Samsung straight-up lies about the Gear’s feasible functionality. I’ve actually been testing out the smartwatch for the past few months and can attest to how unrealistic the advertisement actually is. For example:

  • The 1.9 megapixel camera cannot take SLR-quality action shots. Based on my experience, Jack’s photos are beyond the Gear’s capability.
  • Sure, the Gear’s “find my smartphone” feature is nice if you literally have no idea where your phone is. But Jack uses it after Aimee drops her phone on the ground directly in front of them. And somehow, they can hear the ring despite the club-thumping music. Ridiculous.
  • Jack also uses the Gear’s speakerphone while in the noisy club and somehow answers Aimee’s call while holding two glasses of wine. This is beyond me.
  • Also, who would realistically take a photo of wine at the bar, use this method to research the wine quality, and then order? And who drinks wine at the dance club?

OK, enough ranting. See how bad it is for yourself:

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