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arseniohall12Apparently, Cortana has some serious swag — at least that’s what we found out while watching the Arsenio Hall Show last night.

Hall, the actor, comedian and hilarious host of the show, spent a few minutes talking about Cortana, Microsoft’s new virtual assistant.

“She’s designed to have a little more flavor, be a little more edgy than Siri,” he said of Cortana.

Hall then plays the mediator between Cortana and Siri, Apple’s well-known virtual assistant. Here’s a sampling of the back-and-forth:

Hall: Hey Siri, I’m a little hungry, can you find me a restaurant that serves grilled cheese?

Siri: OK, I will play Alicia Keys.

Cortana: Are you deaf, bitch? He said grilled cheese.

Hall: Cortana, where can I find a good grilled cheese?

Cortana: In your damn kitchen. Why is everybody so lazy?

Siri: Looking up a florist that sells daises.

Hall: No thanks, Siri, but that’s very thoughtful of you.

Siri: That’s how I am, unlike some operating systems.

Cortana: Really, ho? You got something to say to me?

Siri: Actually, I’ve got nothing to say to you, you fake wannabe.

Cortana: All I wanna be is kicking your ass up and down Sunset. Would you like me to get you a map?

It gets even more heated from there, and Cortana’s biggest zinger comes later in the conversation. You watch the drama unfold below:

Related: First impressions: Microsoft’s Cortana is a bit hard of hearing, but shows promise

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