Can we officially put out a call to end all flash mobs now?
Yesterday, Twitter headquarters hosted that group phenom that continues to destroy humankind with its twee, precious and now sadly predictable effects — the flash mob is this decade’s Macarena. And it needs to stop.
You can see from the video, above, that the Twitter flash mob started during lunch hour, where hundreds of innocent Twitter bystanders, trying to enjoy their presumably grass-fed burgers and organic sodas, were besieged with the horror of the Mob. Worse yet? It was to Justin Bieber’s “Baby.” I don’t know about you, but nothing in this world gets me as psyched for another long afternoon in front of the computer deciphering code and prepping worthless reports for pointless meetings than an 18-year-old trying to woo the ladies.
You will also notice the hundreds of other non-participating Twitter workers, with those horrified, awkward smiles frozen on their faces. These looks say, “I should’ve went to Burger King. I should’ve went to Burger King.”
With its invitation to “Join the Flock,” the video was an attempt at recruiting new bodies, by, ahem, showing smart, young kids just how fun Twitter’s workplace is. For a good laugh, read the comments on YouTube: “The beginning reminded me of a prison cafeteria except every1 had regular clothes on” is a particularly astute one.
Really, Twitter? We don’t know about you, but lunchtime is one of the few times during the workday where we don’t have to be all like, “Yeah! Work!” Flash mobs are mildly annoying at best, excruciating at the worst. And now you, like the Bieb, have ruined our lunch.