The Starbucks 'unity' cup.
The Starbucks ‘unity’ cup.

This is why we can’t have nice things, America.

Yesterday Starbucks unveiled a green cup that will house your overpriced beverages for a limited time. What’s so controversial about that? Allow me to explain.

The illustration on the cup depicts more than a hundred people drawn in one continuous stroke. Starbucks released the cup ahead of the election to symbolize unity and togetherness in a nation that has been divided by recent events.

“The green cup and the design represent the connections Starbucks has as a community with its partners (employees) and customers. During a divisive time in our country, Starbucks wanted to create a symbol of unity as a reminder of our shared values, and the need to be good to each other,” said CEO Howard Schultz in a press release.

Some people think that’s a pile of coffee-scented crap.

Shortly after the cup entered circulation people took to Twitter with a number of vague but angry protestations.

Although it is separate, altogether, from the signature red holiday cups Starbucks uses to peddle its peppermint mochas and gingerbread lattes, some people still saw the green unity cup as a new front in the “war on Christmas.”

Others consider the notions of unity and diversity to be some far-left hippy-dippy nonsense.

Of course, for every one person genuinely outraged by the audacity of this cup, hundreds took to Twitter to complain about their complaints.

Starbucks is expected to make coffee great again with its NRA-approved, God-fearing cups soon. But do we really deserve them?

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