Editor’s Note: This post was originally published on Seattle 2.0, and imported to GeekWire as part of our acquisition of Seattle 2.0 and its archival content. For more background, see this post.
By Alyssa Royse
To quote Johnny Drama, and in so doing hit an all time journalistic low, “that’s the problem with hot looking women in the workplace in general, they should be barred because no man can say ‘no’ to them.” The problem they are discussing is that Vince and Eric can’t stand up to Vince’s new agent because she’s a hot chick. His previous agent was a guy, they would, in the situation at hand, tell him to fuck off. But his new agent is hot, and they say “yes” to her when they want to say “no.”
Yes, it’s Entourage, a TV show, but the rest of the episode was dedicated to the very issue of men not being able to be rational in the presence of women they want to have sex with. What happened when they went to confront the agent? Hilarity ensues, of course, and Johnny Drama asks, “did Mistress Amanda dominate you?” Turtle chimes in with, “Yah, did she wear laytex?” And Johnny Drama tries to sympathize by saying, “I wanted to fuck my manager for years, it made working together intolerable.”
I have to think that when this issue makes it into popular culture so directly, and with the expectation that everyone will “get it,” then it is a very real situation.
But if you’re not one for popular TV, let’s think about Helen of Troy, was it not competition for the love of this legendary beauty that launched the Trojan War? She’s known as “the face that launched a thousand ships.” Again with the Greeks, but in Lysistrata, the women withheld sex to stop the Peloponnesian war.
Many world religions have also chimed in with the need to protect us from our own sexuality. Though interpretations vary on whether it is to protect men from the power of women’s sexuality, or to liberate women from being judged by their sexuality, the hijab in Islamic culture exists to remove sexuality from the equation. (For the record, the “poor guys can’t control themselves” argument is just absurd.) There is also the Judaic tradition of women covering their hair, which stems from the Old Testament story of Chava tempting Adam to eat from the tree of knowledge. I guess it was her lovely hair that did him in, poor guy couldn’t control himself, so women ought to cover their hair and conceal their sensuality, reserving it only for their husbands.
Whether you’re looking at modern TV, ancient drama or religious teachings, there seems to be an acknowledgment that women can, and do, use their sexuality to get what they want. And that maybe, just maybe, men are weak to fight against it.
I suppose it’s possible that the empowered modern American woman, and all of her modern associates, are the one population in the history of time who don’t see this. But I doubt it.
So let’s just say it’s real. And talk honestly about how this may impact the modern American workplace. Because I don’t like Johnny Drama’s idea of banning hot women from the workplace. That would suck for everyone. I like hot women. And hot men. Hot people are, well, hot, and nice to have around.
If you didn’t read the first blog post on this subject, I introduced a scenario in which a hot chick, who was trying to close a deal, was engaging in a salacious email dialog (and drunken dinners) with the potential client. Regardless of who started it, she was leading him on, drinking too much with him and letting him think there was a chance that he might get laid. (Whether or not she would do it is moot, though I tend to think it’s bad business to promise – even tacitly – things you know you won’t deliver.)
I think that crosses the line. I think it is dishonest and manipulative and that it erodes the integrity of the playing field on which we all do business. But, in case I’m crazy, I did ask people who know far more than I do about such things. At least legally speaking.
I asked Fredrick Lane, an attorney and author who appears regularly on major TV networks and specializes in issues such as this, if the potential of having sex as a reward for “giving” something is any different than the potential of getting something – like a promotion – as a result of having sex. Could Sexual Enticement, legally speaking, be treated in a similar manner to Sexual Harassment.
“Not really,” Fredrick answered bluntly. “The problem is that sexual harassment law is predicated on the concept of making someone do something they don’t want to do sexually in exchange for a perceived benefit in the workplace. It’s a different thing entirely for a woman (or a man, for that matter) to represent themselves as WILLING to perform sexual acts for a deal, a promotion, etc.”
So, could there be any legal ramifications for such behavior? After all, if a boss can be punished for expecting sex from a subordinate, is there any issue if the subordinate does the offering?
“Probably not; there’s no case law giving a right of action against suck-ups (pun intended,)” Fredrick responds, with trademark humor. “However, a claim for sexually hostile workplace might be sustainable if the boss (male or female) makes it clear that he/she is receptive to sexual overtures and that benefits clearly flow to employees who make them. It becomes a tricky question of fact: is the employee voluntarily propositioning the boss with an eye towards the corner office, or is the boss subtly (or not so subtly) suggesting that flirts and floozies rise faster up the corporate ladder?”
Alright then, there is no legal issue with this. You manipulate me by asking for sex, I can sue your ass. I manipulate you by offering you sex, no problem. Well, maybe if she does have sex with him and there’s an email trail to follow, he explains, “it wouldn’t be hard to make the argument that what is promised is essentially prostitution — an exchange of sexual services for economic benefit.” But shy of that, nothing wrong.
I know this just doesn’t sit right with a lot of people, but what do we do about it? Are we too PC to call this behavior out? Come on, let’s call it what it is! We can do it!
Turns, out, Fredrick doesn’t think we can, or at least doesn’t think we will. “Nope, it’s not remotely PC, because in a post ‘Our Bodies, Ourselves’ world, who is going to speak out against the idea of a strong, confident woman in touch with and embracing her sexuality? And, of course, most men will refuse to ‘call out’ a sexually predatory woman because they might, in fact, get some.”
Gotta love the irony of feminism being the reason no one will call this what it is. Fredrick’s right. No guy who might “get some” is going to call out this behavior.
But what about us women? Time to turn to Natalee Roan, whose background in psychology and tenure as a C Level exec in corporate America leaves her perfectly suited to tackle such issues in her executive coaching practice.
“Other women do, but we often just call them, the ones who call-out the behavior, a bitch.”
Oh, like Turtle and Johnny Drama calling the agent a “mistress” in laytex, conjuring up images of the dominatrix! Or, I might add, the person who commented on my last post that I must be “jealous.”
“I don’t see men calling a woman like this out because it makes them look weak. They won’t call out her sexual enticement because that would mean they were suckered – and that’s just too embarrassing and hard on the ego.”
I agree with Natalee 100%. I will also add that, often, I think the men may genuinely not see that they are being played.
Is there a place for these women in Corporate America? Sure, that’s why there’s so many of them. Natalee offers the following thoughts, “companies are often happy to use the Sexual Enticer to increase their bottom lines by putting them into ‘individual contributor’ roles, like sales and biz dev where they don’t have much in the way of staff to manage. Ideal for the company – they benefit through the increased sales this type of person could garner, but mitigate harm to employees (because no-one that self-absorbed can be a good leader.)”
What about successful CEO’s and senior management? Does this work for them? Again, Natalee observes, “if they do manage to manipulate their way into senior management, their stay there is likely temporary. But while I don’t have any hard research, I’m willing to bet most leave their companies of their own accord rather than being fired – they just top out career-wise as let’s face it, there’s no deep respect earned, and the behavior that got them there becomes old and predictable, so they lose their influence – time to move on.”
Alright then. It exists, many people don’t call it out, and no one knows what to do about it.
Let’s remember something that Fredrick pointed out to me, “it took a ridiculously long time, but our society eventually wised up to the fact that women should be judged on their merits in the workplace and not on their willingness to perform sexual favors for someone in a position of power over them.”
He’s right, and that’s why I’m pissed. It’s not that she’s hot, it’s that she’s taking us back a few generations where sex and sexuality was expected of us in order to get ahead. I want to be judged – as should all of you – on the merits of my brains and business sense. So yah, it pisses me off, and I see it as pathetic. And those of you who have penises and would like to think that I’m being jealous and selfish, let me point out that you are ill-equipped to compete with a woman like this, you’re probably losing out far more than me on this equation.
On a personal level, I also love sex enough to want to be able to share it openly and freely with my lovers, not to cheapen it and dole it out like flavorless communion wafers to anyone who wants a little.
It’s also just manipulative, and too many people are easily – and obliviously – suckered by it. So let me be a mom here, for a minute, and remind you that strangers offering you candy are usually up to no good.
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Alyssa Royse thinks Vince is pretty but pointless, would totally marry Eric, and regrets to admit that she absolutely has the hots for Ari Gold. When she’s not watching Entourage, she’s running JUST CAUSE Magazine, using her wit, brains and way with words.
