A team of software engineers at Rice University has introduced a new programming language called TrumpScript. Based on Python, the new language is designed to be “the programming language Trump would approve of,” using a variety of syntax and commands particular to the bombastic comb-over candidate.
TrumpScript is clearly not a language for losers and haters. It has a variety of features lacking in any other programming language.
- No floating point numbers, only integers. America never does anything halfway.
- All numbers must be strictly greater than 1 million. The small stuff is inconsequential to us.
- There are no import statements allowed. All code has to be home-grown and American made.
- Instead of
False, we have
- Only the most popular English words, Trump’s favorite words, and current politician names can be used as variable names.
- Error messages are mostly quotes directly taken from Trump himself.
- All programs must end with
America is great.
- Our language will automatically correct Forbes’ $4.5B to $10B.
- In its raw form, TrumpScript is not compatible with Windows, because Trump isn’t the type of guy to believe in PC.
- The language is completely case insensitive.
- If the running computer is from China or Mexico, TrumpScript will not compile. We don’t want them stealing our American technological secrets.
- Warns you if you have any Communists masqeurading as legitimate “SSL Certificates” from China on your system.
- Won’t run in root mode because America doesn’t need your help being great. Trump is all we need.
Error handling in TrumpScript is fairly strict. For example, if you use a word that isn’t common English, your program will chastise you with “We have a country where to assimilate you have to speak English.” Terms in your code that have been banned are similarly strict, throwing an error that “Trump doesn’t want to hear it.”
TrumpScript is available on GitHub. Programmers love to make contributions to projects on GitHub, and it appears that many are not satisfied with the state of the new language, given a swell of issue submissions since the project launched.
One contributor bemoaned the use of Python, since it was originally developed in the Netherlands, suggesting “Why not use an American language, like C++? We need to return programming language design jobs to the USA!”. Another is worried about memory leaks in the new language, requesting a “yourFired() call to do garbage collection on an object.”
OK programmers, let’s go forth and make programming great again, unless your name is Rosie O’Donnell of course.