When T-Mobile paid Comedy Central for some advertising on The Colbert Report, the Bellevue-based company probably wasn’t expecting the hilarity that ensued on TV Wednesday night.
To help pay for the production bills for his show, Stephen Colbert agreed a while back to do integrated sponsorships. He started off last night’s episode explaining this fact while T-Mobile’s logo flashed on the screen, and after a few seconds, it appeared he was done talking about the nation’s fourth largest wireless carrier.
He definitely wasn’t.
Colbert then began talking about a new vibrating capsule that’s supposed to heal constipation, and figured it was a perfect time to give his sponsor a little more love. One problem with the pill, he said, was the fact that it’s not available to the public yet.
“You folks out there need relief now,” Colbert said. “Which is why I recommend you put your cell phone on vibrate and shove it where the sun don’t shine.”
But which type of phone? Well, a “top of the line smartphone from T-Mobile,” of course.
“When you have the fastest nationwide 4G LTE network, you can call your colon from anywhere in the country with great reception — no matter how far you jammed it up there,” Colbert said, subtly noting T-Mobile’s claim as the fastest carrier.
Colbert then talked about T-Mobile’s “uncarrier” data plans, noting the removal of annual service contracts, no limits on data, and “upgrades whenever you want the hottest new smartphone throbbing your duodenum.”
“What’s that you say? You’ve already got a phone from one of T-Mobile’s competitors wedged up there?” Colbert continued. “No problem — T-Mobile will even help pay your termination fees when you break up with your old carrier and cover up to five devices in one plan. Finally, the whole family can nestle them in their rectums.”
Colbert wasn’t stopping there. Before delivering the final zinger, he assured viewers that T-Mobile did not ask him to “say any of this. The company only asked that he “not position the brand in a negative light.”
“Hey, that is not a problem,” Colbert said. “Where I’m telling you to position it, there isn’t any light at all. Remember — T-Mobile, put it in your butt.”
So there you have it. T-Mobile’s marketing team is either happy they got so much airtime on Colbert’s show last night, or concerned that he endorsed people putting their smartphones in places they shouldn’t.
But as far we can tell, T-Mobile CEO John Legere seems happy with Colbert’s comments:
So @StephenAtHome says T-Mobile can relieve constipation. It's true. Just look at how we're making @att sh!t themselves.
— John Legere (@JohnLegere) May 8, 2014
Though it seems Legere’s lawyers warned him not to promise customers that T-Mobile can actually relieve constipation:
BTW @StephenAtHome, my lawyers advised me to say that @tmobile doesn't really help get "that" moving. But we DO make your network run fast!
— John Legere (@JohnLegere) May 8, 2014
While our network covers over 96% of Americans, I don’t recommend taking @StephenAtHome’s advice! #DontPutItThere
— John Legere (@JohnLegere) May 8, 2014
Related: T-Mobile adds another 2.4M customers in record quarter, within shouting distance of Sprint
