conan
Conan O’Brien ponders what could have been. (Credit: LinkedIn.)

Apparently everybody has advice for new Microsoft CEO Satya Nadella these days … even Conan O’Brien.

In a post on LInkedIn, the comedian and late-night talk-show host congratulates Nadella as the “right second choice” — almost as good as the first choice in Conan’s view — Conan, of course. He goes on to outline the strategy he would have pursued as CEO to turn Microsoft around.

Turning Microsoft back into an industry titan like Wang or Commodore would have required a simple three point action-plan: 1. Zune 2. More Zune 3. Even More Zune. …

I would have spent hundreds of millions of dollars on a marketing campaign to get everyone in America to “Bing their symptoms” after that weekend trip to Juarez.

The Surface tablet would have come with new peripheral device I called “Tiny Windshield Wipers.”

Every single version of the Windows operating system would have been voiced by Scarlett Johansson.

Excel 2014 would have built-in Instagram filters.

Well, if Nadella doesn’t work out, at least the Microsoft board knows it has other options.

By the way, Conan does have some experience with the company, and its technology. Here’s a blast from the past — Conan and Bill Gates at the 2005 CES

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