Hall, the actor, comedian and hilarious host of the show, spent a few minutes talking about Cortana, Microsoft’s new virtual assistant.
“She’s designed to have a little more flavor, be a little more edgy than Siri,” he said of Cortana.
Hall then plays the mediator between Cortana and Siri, Apple’s well-known virtual assistant. Here’s a sampling of the back-and-forth:
Hall: Hey Siri, I’m a little hungry, can you find me a restaurant that serves grilled cheese?
Siri: OK, I will play Alicia Keys.
Cortana: Are you deaf, bitch? He said grilled cheese.
Hall: Cortana, where can I find a good grilled cheese?
Cortana: In your damn kitchen. Why is everybody so lazy?
Siri: Looking up a florist that sells daises.
Hall: No thanks, Siri, but that’s very thoughtful of you.
Siri: That’s how I am, unlike some operating systems.
Cortana: Really, ho? You got something to say to me?
Siri: Actually, I’ve got nothing to say to you, you fake wannabe.
Cortana: All I wanna be is kicking your ass up and down Sunset. Would you like me to get you a map?
It gets even more heated from there, and Cortana’s biggest zinger comes later in the conversation. You watch the drama unfold below: