Editor’s Note: This post was originally published on Seattle 2.0, and imported to GeekWire as part of our acquisition of Seattle 2.0 and its archival content. For more background, see this post.
By Alyssa Royse
When someone asks me, “can I pick your brain,” what I hear is, “will you work for me, for free?” No. I have many ways that I can spend my time and not make money. When I have finished all of them, you can pick my brain. Until then, I’m happy to make an appointment with you and you can pay my standard consulting fee.
Of course, I got to this place after years as a “yes” girl, because, like many people, I so love the creative energy of startup that I find myself getting involved in people’s processes, spending time and energy on them, and then watching them go off and do great things, with my guidance, and I never “get” anything from it. When someone just walked off and hired someone else to execute a plan that I proposed after hours of talking to them about their product and market, I realized something had to give. Specifically, something had to stop being given away.
I was starting to feel a bit bitchy about this, when suddenly it was coming up in conversation, from lots of angles, with lots of people. I think we need to talk about the fine line between helping each other out, and using each other.
1. Know Who You’re Asking, and Why
Generally, the people who’s brains we want to pick fall into two categories: a) Your target market and b) Experts with a skill that we need to launch, but can’t afford to pay for.
a) If you are creating a product, and have friends who are your target market, it’s generally a GREAT idea to pick their brains. They will have insight into, and a vested interest in, your product, but no professional reason to expect compensation for a one-time brainstorming session.
b) If you are seeking professional expertise in something like marketing, PR, branding, design, etc…. Because you know you need it and don’t have anyone on your team to do it, that’s where things get sticky. You are now asking someone to do their work for you, for free. And that is risky business.
2. If It Has Value, You Should Pay For It
The reason you are asking someone for their opinion is because you value it. If you value it, you should be willing to pay for it. They have something you want, why would you expect them to just give it to you? If you are dealing with a tiny startup budget, then be honest and open about that up front. If you can’t pay their consulting fee, offer them goods, services, stock – anything that lets them know that you know their expertise has value. Amongst other things, this helps to avoid the “scope creep” that seems to often accompany acts of pure “good will.”
3. Set Clear Boundaries
It is the responsibility of both parties to be clear about what is happening. Generally speaking, I will now say that I’m happy to have a quick chat – usually 30 minutes or so – to help them frame their thought process. However, I will ask if this is just friendly guidance or if this has the potential to turn into paying work.
I have seen too many people string consultants along with the “we really don’t know what we need” line of reasoning, and the vague assertion that there may or may not be a place for them in the future, when….. The consultant then helps them narrow their vision, build a plan and define their needs. That, plain and simple, is work. It is the job of someone on your team, and it should be paid for – even if it is a consultant whose brain you are picking to figure out what you need and want. Anything else is unethical. Period.
4. Know Who Your Friends Are
That said, know who your friends are. I would do anything for my friends. What is a friend? Well, in my case, if you’ve seen me drunk, discussed my sex life, known me through more than one “epiphany” and change in my life, you are my friend. Ask me anything you want, I’m happy to spend my time and energy helping you, because I know you will do the same for me. We can and should do anything we can for our friends.
Acquaintances? That’s a little fuzzier, but most of them probably merit a cup of coffee or 30 minute phone call too.
- Set clear expectations about whether this is friendly advice or a potential relationship.
- Be quick and timely. I suggest a 20 minute phone call during a time when the person who’s brain is being picked would not be doing anything else of value to them.
- Do not expect any materials or plans of any sort to be developed from a brain-picking session. A brain-picker can point you in a direction, but you have to do the work yourself, or else pay for it.
This does not foster a healthy and vibrant startup community. It does the opposite actually, it fosters exhaustion and resentment, and makes people want to shut up rather than share.
Alyssa Royse is launching her next company in a couple weeks, and is more in love with the Seattle startup community than ever before. However, in the spirit of the new company, she is practicing safe-brain-picking and expressing clear boundaries so that both parties can be mutually satisfied by what they create when they come together.
